Controlling and coercive behaviour is a pattern of behaviour that can be used to establish power over another person and make them feel that they have little or no control over their own life.
Controlling behaviour can involve intentionally making someone dependent on another person by isolating them from sources of support, restricting their independence, controlling their everyday activities or exploiting their resources.
Coercive behaviour can involve acts or patterns of behaviour such as threats, intimidation, humiliation or other abuse used to frighten, punish, harm, isolate or create dependence.
Examples may include:
- Constantly checking where you are, who you are with or what you are doing
- Monitoring your phone, messages, social media or location
- Expecting you to account for your time or movements
- Telling you who you can and cannot see or speak to
- Preventing you from seeing friends or family
- Controlling what you wear, eat or do
- Controlling access to money, accommodation, education or employment
- Making threats or using intimidation to make you do something you do not want to do
- Repeatedly humiliating, degrading or insulting you
- Making you feel responsible for the other person's behaviour
- Threatening to harm themselves, you, someone else or a pet if you do not do what they want
- Using threats about children, your family, your immigration status or other important aspects of your life to control you.
Controlling or coercive behaviour can be difficult to recognise because individual incidents may appear minor or may not seem abusive when considered on their own. The overall pattern and impact of the behaviour can be important.